The first Christmas as a parent is nothing short of magical, but also a little overwhelming. The sparkle of the season, the joy of watching your baby’s first holiday moments, and the influx of family traditions all collided with the real, unspoken challenge of navigating parenting choices—and, more specifically, setting respectful boundaries with others around you. From breastfeeding to sleep training, this holiday season will bring you face to face with the delicate art of balancing personal choices with the well-meaning opinions of others.
As a new parent, the joy of Christmas can also come with some moments of discomfort, especially when it comes to certain topics that can stir up debates, judgments, and unsolicited advice. Here are some tips on how to set boundaries and embrace your own parenting journey—without compromising your values or letting others dictate how you raise your child.
For many new parents, breastfeeding can feel like a sensitive issue, and Christmas gatherings—full of family and friends—are no exception. Regardless of your baby's age, if you're chest feeding then it will be part of your daily routine. But when it's time for the family dinners, it isn't uncommon to feel the need to retreat to another room to nurse, or, worse yet, to be asked questions like, “Are you sure you’re feeding enough?” or “Isn’t it time for solids?”
This holiday season, I want you to feel confident in your choices. Learning that setting boundaries around your baby’s feeding routine is vital for both your comfort and your baby’s well-being. It helps to make it clear that you plan to nurse in a space where you feel comfortable, and if anyone is curious or concerned, you would be happy to talk later—but in the moment, your focus is on the needs of your baby.
Most people are just trying to help or express concern, but you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Your parenting choices are yours to make, and you can stand firm in these decisions without being defensive.
Sleep is a hot topic among parents, and there are as many opinions on how to handle it as there are sleep-deprived parents. Some people believe in the "cry it out" method, while others swear by co-sleeping, and still, others prefer a gentle, no-tears approach. When Christmas rolled around, you may be overwhelmed with questions like, “Is your baby sleeping through the night yet?” and “Have you started sleep training?”
Instead of diving into lengthy explanations, a simple statement such as, “We’re still figuring out what works for us right now, but we’re in a good place.” This simple statement allows you to steer the conversation away from potential judgment without feeling like you are dismissing their concern. It sends a clear message that while you appreciate their advice, you are in control of what works for you and your family.
One of the more challenging aspects of being a new parent during Christmas is the pressure to make everything perfect. From the perfect family photo to the ideal holiday experience, there’s a lot of pressure to present the “perfect” image of parenting. But the reality of having a newborn or young child often looks very different. There will be moments when your baby cries during family photos, when nap time is completely derailed by holiday activities, or when the idea of “making memories” felt more like a logistical nightmare than a joyous occasion.
Now would be a great time to embrace imperfection. The holidays can be chaotic, and as a new parent, please learn to let go of unrealistic expectations. It is completely okay if things don't go according to plan - in fact, expect it not to. The joy of the season will be in the small moments—whether that is cuddling with your baby after a long day or watching your partner care for them with love and tenderness. These are the moments that you want to remember, not the stress of fitting everything into some Pinterest-worthy narrative.
One of the biggest challenges during Christmas (and every holiday season) is navigating the differing parenting styles of family members. Your ideas of parenting may differ from those of your family and friends - and this is ok. Some family members might suggest that you should hold your baby more (or less!), or that your baby needed a bigger dose of this or that tradition.
Setting boundaries with loved ones is essential. Gentle, yet firm boundaries to set clear expectations that certain decisions are yours and your partner’s to make. When it comes to things like how you will spend the day, how you are handling naps, or how much social stimulation your baby could handle, communicate your needs clearly and confidently. I would be focusing on. Let family and friends know what your plan is —whether this means stepping away from a noisy gathering for a nap or deciding against certain holiday traditions in favor of a slower pace.
Sometimes, family members might feel disappointed or confused, but that’s okay. As a new parent, it’s essential to recognize that you’re still learning and evolving, and you don’t need to justify your choices to anyone else. What matters most is the well-being of your baby and your own mental health. Christmas is about creating memories, not about satisfying everyone’s expectations.
Above all, your first Christmas as a parent, please prioritize the importance of honoring your own needs. In the hustle and bustle of the season, please remember that self-care isn’t selfish. Whether it means taking a few quiet moments for yourself or asking for support when you need it, your well-being is just as important as your baby’s. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your baby.
The first Christmas as a parent is a time of joy, reflection, and discovery. As you navigate the world of breastfeeding, sleep training, and respectful boundaries, it is important to stay true to your values and communicate those values to others. Christmas doesn’t need to be perfect, and it certainly doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s holiday. What matters is that you create a space that is comfortable, joyful, and meaningful for our own little family.
So, whether you’re navigating well-meaning family members or figuring out what works best for your parenting style, remember that it’s okay to set boundaries. The first Christmas as a parent is a journey—and the best gift you can give yourself is the permission to make it your own.
